Last Night in Maidstone

Today, Zach and I just chilled at home. Recooperating is goood.

So then, this evening, we went out to St Lukes for a last night with everyone. A lot of people couldn't make it, so there were just a few. Anyway, it was a laugh, just meeting up with good mates for one last wongle. We played Blind Volleyball, and Zach taught us dodgeball, which was such a laugh.

Anyway, I'm really tired, so I'm gonna shoot off (whilst Zach's shooting up [he's got diabetes]), but I don't know when I'll be able to write on here again. Hopefully soon. But we'll see.

The Day Before the Beginning

It's now 12.15 and I still have n't woken Zach up. I still have a whole bunch of theings that I have to do, such as take out the washing and get the last few things. I have started to find little things which I have been looking for for a while and haven't been able to find. Like the big beenie that Vanya gave me, and the wooden neckchain thing (?) that Milly gave me. Things are all falling into place. I found myself worring a little (i guess) about what Zach thought of me etc, and I began to prepare myself to be a little precautious in my words and actions around him, but then I thought about it some more, and came to the conclusion that I totally don't wanna be like that. I mean, he's gonna get to know me soo deeply over the next 9 months. Well, there it is. My morning schpeel. I tihnk I better wake him up now.

A Long Day in London

Woke up at 3am to tidy my room and catch a ride to London from my dad. I was dropped on the east side of zone 2, at Mile End, and begun a 2 hour trek to Heathrow. (Why do I have the feeling this post would turn out really long if I carried on this way??)

So, met Zach, then we made our best effort to get to Bekki's hotel, which we must have circled. During this time, I managed to break Zach's bag. Then, the three of us went around London, during which we managed to strike out on the places Zach had intended to go, eg. the open air market at Liverpool Street wasn't on today, nobody knew where exactly on Regent Street that Jack the Ripper had actually killed somebody on a bench, or even where there was a bench on Regent Street. But yah, it was cool just going round places. And also, I took them to Portobello Road, to see the Notting Hill Market. But mostly, it was just a long tiring day. (Moreso for Zach than me!) On the train ride back from London, we got talking about various issues, and I realised what a knowledgable guy Zach is. I mean, there were a few points that I disagree with a little, but on the whole, I feel I have a lot to learn from him.

But yah, Zach and I got back home, and we barely had time to wash before we sat down to a meal with about 12 other people. It was good, but by the end of it, Zach was completely out. I had to cancel the arrangements I had made to go out that night, and clubbing was definitrly out of the question. He's asleep in the living room at the moment, and I'm gonna wake him up at noon tomorrow.

And just now, I had a talk online with Tracey, who is such a star. I tried to explain to her the situation in my head and heart, but even though she got the general jist of what I was trying to say, I think that maybe she was just a little bit too tired to understand it all. But that's ok. I don't even understand it all myself.

Cancer?

This morning, I went to see Doctor Wentzel. My mum made me. I knew my mum was concerned about me, and when I spoke to the doc, he told me that my mum had rang him up the night before and told him that she thinks I might have cancer. I mean, my mum is pretty specialised in all this stuff, cos she's been studying it for years. But yeah, the doc thinks the chances are that I don't have cancer, although I could have. He said that he couldn't tell my mum because I was 19 and I would have to tell her myself, i.e. patient confidentiality etc etc. But yah, he prescribed me some heavy drugs and stuff, which I hope don't affect me too much, and he's written a letter to the GP in Lancashire, and told me I have to give it to them when I get there. But hmm. I'm totally not worried about a thing.

Gotta go clear out my room before Zach gets here tomorrow! Woohoo!

The Value of Money

So today has been pretty cool. Aunty Wai Wah arrived last night. I'd have to say that she is my favourite of dad's 8 sisters. She must be closer to 4 foot than 5 foot. She is totally Elmo from Sesame Street! Oh yeah, and this morning she was like, 'Oh, I didn't know what to get you from Malaysia, so I got you money. And I was like, 'Awesome!' And I thought to myself 'God is goood!' cos I really needed like a fiver for goin to town today. But she handed me two notes. Two £50 notes! I don't think I've ever seen them before! I mean, you know how £20 notes are bigger than £10 notes and £10 notes are bigger than £5 notes. Well, I had to fold these things up a few times to get them into my wallet! ...God is goood!

So yah. Went out to get some last minute stuff in town today. Well, not last minute stuff, but the only stuff that I needed that I hadn't yet got. But yeah. Bumped into Amy on the way into town and she was looking great. We went around town together until she met up with Kirsty Simms. But yah, i just went round getting some essentials... like a kazoo!!! Sweeet!

I've also been texting Tracey quite a lot. I'd really like to meet up with her sometime, although I know that's not likely to be possible in the next few weeks. But it will totally happen.

Yeah, I am way hyped about going to Capers, and the craziness in my head just keeps goin on and on. I just got off the phone to Irish Jon. Who is sooo awesome. I mean, we talked for about an hour and we just think exactly along the same lines! It was the first time we spoke on the phone, and I honestly expected to not be able to understand his Northeren Irish accent. But it was totally fine.

We got talking about past years at Capernwray, cos he knows loadsa people who have been, and I learnt so much, just listening to what he said. I mean, like there was this one year where a girl got her tongue pierced for like £50, and then this African guy who was on sponsorship just said to her that what she spent could have fed his village for a month or summat. I mean, sometimes we just have to think about what we are saying, and be sensitive to others' lives and situations. We sometimes just don't realise what we have until we hear something like that. I bet that girl just started crying right there and then. I guess that's the value of money. Talking to Jon has to be the highlight of my day.

I think this is a better one. Although you can tell I'm tired!

A pic of me taken about a week ago. I really like this because it is such an extremely gay pose! haha

My Last Sunday at St Lukes

Today is Sunday. It's Sunday night now, but hey. Church this morning was pretty good. Mike was speaking and it may have been the best I've ever heard him do. He talked on coming to the Father like a child. And thas totally what we have to do. We gotta drop our theological arguments and responses and just bathe in his presence. Just soak.

Then like after the service, I met mum in town and got a few odds and ends for Capers, and then we went to Sainsbury's to get food for the journey up there and everything. And then when we got back home, we had a long chat in the car, and that was awesome. I got to say loadsa stuff i wanted to say and she didn't hardly interupt. It was such a change. We grew in our relationship this afternoon.

Then just before the evening service, i had to talk to dad about my future. Same as I did with mum. But it was so hard talking to him, because he is extremely irrational, and doesn't view things like life, money, jobs, career and the future in the same way as me. It was hard for me to just sit there and take what he was throwing at me. He said he would never give his blessing for me going to Bible School. I knew he wasn't for it, but I didn't really realise to what extent he was extremely against it. but that's ok. It doesn't worry me too much, even though that's not how I want things to be.

But anyway, the evening service was rad. Russ was talkin instead of Eric, so I guess i'll have to go see the big man at home before I go. (Eric the 'big man', not Russ the 'holy mountain'. hehe) But yah, they gave me a sending off from St Lukes' tonight which was cool. And then we had a ocntinuation of last night's prophecy evening. Although there was some healing in theere too. Good stuff. Our prophecy group was awesome. Some amazing stuff was said, and all was dandy. Then after, we all went down the pub, a tradition that will be sadly missed, even if I have been drinking coke for the past few weeks. But yeah, got to talk to Ben a little bit, but not as much as either of us would've have liked.

Anyway, I am almost totally packed now, and I only have a few things I have to pick up in town tomorrow but apart from that, I'm done (like a turkey, but brown on all sides.)

Packing for Capers!!

So today, I didn't have work. And it felt sooo good! Yah, and i just bummed around most of the day, getting stuff together for Capernwray, and then I started packing. It felt so good, and i'm pretty sure I've got most of what I'll need and a lot more.

Yeah, I talked to Tracey on the phone for quite a while. She's a really sweet girl. (Tracey, if you're reading this, then Hi!!) heh...

But yah, thas my schpeel for the day, I'm gonna sleep now. I achieved little of what I set out to do today, but I still feel mildly pleased with myself inside. Awesome...

This was in my Econ classroom. And the kid at the bottom left corner is Bill Gates

Slut vs Virgin ... I think Branson has some competition...

Male bonding at its finest...

One man's trash is another man's treasure...

Anal Exams! Haha, The 'I' is falling out of the word 'Final' (if ya hadn't noticed.

Honest Sign

Just thought I'd post some funny pics to cheer me up and whoever else reads this.

Friday

Today i got up early and went in for my last day of work. I've bin working my butt off for the last 2 weeks, doin it for the Lord and not for men. Which sounded more biblical and less gay in my head this whole week. But hey.

So anyways, not a lot has gone on today. Oh, i got stung by a wasp in the morning, err... oh, the highlight of the day was probably talkin to 4 other Capers ppl in one convo box on MSN. That was cool...

I was meant to get started packing tonite, but failed miserably. Hmmm...

Just thought I'd post this to cheer myself up a bit, Big Dave sent it to me a while back.

The Last Week or so, or wuteva

So much has been going through my mind in the last week and a half.

The days after Stef's death brought me into deep theological and philosophical thought. Would I mind if I died tomorrow? Would I regret the things I did yesterday? My whole outlook on things became so much more focussed and clear. Scouser Joe said to me that he never thought he would live past 30. And that anything after that was just a bonus. It's a viewpoint that I might adopt I think. I was quite inactive for the first 10 days I think. Just had to take time out to think.

So what else has gone on? Well, I've met up with people from church quite a few times, went over to Joe and Chantal's on Sunday, went to a party, that was mine and Jon's 19th. Oh yeah, I turned 19 on Saturday, which was cool. I also just got my new passport, which is nifty.

Oh, I got a job at Uncle Wan's hotel. It's the Village Hotel, and I'm working as a kitchen porter or a KP. It's a nasty job, and smells and also is terrible for your skin. My skin hates the job. Uncle Wan could have got me any job in the hotel, but he decided to give me the worst job in the hotel. It is totally good for me though. If it's anything, then it is character building, that's what it is. I praise God that I haven't got the easiest job in the world. Also, it doesn't take much mind effort to wash dishes and scrub pots and pans, so I've been able to spend some time with God. I just stand there by the sink, scrubbing and praising God. I feel I've been really in touch with God the last couple of weeks. I think God's really been looking out for me during this difficult time. And this morning, I woke up and was going abou my day, and I knew something wasn't quite right. It took me a little time to realise that it was because I hadn't spoken to my Father in Heaven that morning, and talked to him and told him how I was feeling. I got back into my stride, and by mid afternoon I was really spiritually buff.

Oh, last night, me and the lads went out for one last night together. Me, Pete, James Thanesan, Josh and Craig met up for a drink at Muggs, to cathc up on old times and to make a toast to the last 7 years of school together, well 10 for me, Pete and James, and 14 for me and Pete. We walked down with Jackie, Caz, Fiona, and Charlotte Kemp, to Jumpin' Jaks where we agreed to meet Lalin after his work. He wasn't the only one one we met there that we knew. Our whole entire year from MGS was there. I'd say about 100 out of 120 were there. What are the chances, ey? Turns out it was the last Wednesday night before everybody was headed off to there respective Universities and the likes. We had such a laugh, altho my guys weren't really up for dancing. But I joined a few guys from the Maths skool in Rochester, and they were up for a bit of old skool music and some boogie-woogieing.

But yah, that's wut's bin going on. I've missed out loads but hey, its' beein so long, that I can't remember...

In Memory of Stef Wittenberg

The last couple of days have been troublesome ones. Various things have occured which I have completely forgotten about and I'm not gonna really talk about.

But yah, on Saturday night, Ross came over to help me with ideas for my sermon for the next morning. That's when I got an eMail, from Stef's dad, who told me she had been in a car accident with her friends the day before. Stef and her friend Luke, were killed, and Amanda has severe brain damage and things don't look good. Lori is not so badly hurt, but is still in hospital.

I completely fell apart right here, in front of the computer. God had brought Ross over to mine for a reason, cos otherwise I would've been alone in the house. I cried for the next 3 hours, I wept, heavily, until I was all cried out for the night.

I only started writing up my sermon about 1am. It was hard, and everything I wrote, made me think of Stef, and what she'd think of it. I got through it, and on Sunday morning I preached at Bearsted Community Church for 40 minutes on God's Will For Our Lives. I think I gave them a sense of urgency to do God's work, as I gave testament to Stef's life.

I cried a lot that day, yesterday, I was totally torn apart. When I wasn't crying, I was thinking about what it all meant, and how that was God's will and purpose for her life. And to be honest, I had a lot of trouble with all that stuff, like some Bible verses, but God's really helped me with those. I have been comforted by many, although, I still lack an inner peace about it. Am I grieving right? I'm not sure. But maybe I don't want to be all cheery and back to my old self. I'm not a sulker, it's just I can't seem to get her out of my mind. I keep picturing how she looked and how she felt as she was dying in that car. It makes me stop and think.

Every 5 seconds I recall things we spoke about, and planned for this year. I remember one conversation we had, where I made her talk in an English accent and say 'The water in Majorca, don't taste like what it ought ta', and 'The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain' just like in My Fair Lady. She was soo rubbish! heh.

One of her last online journal entries warned me that her dad wanted to contact me to get my phone number so he could ring my parents, to see if I was a bad boy and to see if his daughter would be in safe hands when staying at my house the night before Capernwray started. That's what I thought the eMail was gonna be about when I saw a message from Gordon Wittenberg, entitled 'Re: Stef Wittenberg'. So yah, I wasn't ready for what I was about to read. I guess Stef got to be in safer hands a little earlier. I guess she's always been in safe hands.

Yesterday's Post

So, woke up surprisingly early yesterday morning, after watching The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise until 4am. Tom's great to watch film's with. He always brings the popcorn. So, even though I woke up early, I don't actually remember doing much until the late afternoon, when John, from the Streetlight's Church finally gave me a call and got me clued in. So now I've got a day to get everything sorted. But yeah, thas ok.
Then later, I talked to Tracey on the phone. She's really fab, and she has a Welsh accent. Heh. But yeah, she seems like a really nice girl, and she even suggested that we meet up sometime, although i'm not sure how that will be possible in the next few weeks, considering she lives in Wales and I live in England, but hmm...
I stayed up to watch the first episode of Band of Brothers, which we now have the Box set series. It's really good. 'Hanks, Spielberg, you've done a good job.'

What Al would look like if he were a dodgy porn-star with really bad teeth and terrible hair. (But the tash is fab!)

Aliqueer with his beautiful fake wig, moustache and teeth. (I had no other good pics to put on here!)

Today continued...

So, this afternoon I talked to Zach on the phone. He is awesome. Didn't get to talk for long, but he was really enthusiastic about like everything. And the more we talk to each other, the more I feel I know about him, (sounds obvious i know), and the more we talk, the more we find that we're like totally the same! I mean its crazy! Almost like we're from the same family or summat!

So yeah, tonite, I spoke to loadsa ppl online. 18 ppl at one point. Well I'm still talkin to some. I'm talkin to Marisa at the moment. She's from San Diego, california, and i'll be seeing her in 3 weeks, to spend the next year with her, which will be so rad. I mean like I'm just soo excited about all this!

Oh yah, and I also spoke to Laura again, wut a darl, she goes back to skool tomorrow, and she's goin thru a rough time, so I gotta remember to keep prayin for her.

Yeah, and I also spoke to this girl in S.Wales, who is from South Africa. Her name is Tracey and she is sooo nice! She had a webcam and we talked online for a while, and then we've bin sending each other a few texts. I told Laura about her, who seemed quietly amused. but yeah, I'll try and ring her tomorrow, cos I'll use the free minutes on my phone, since we're both with O2. But yeah, thas my schpeel for the day...

The Wonderful Robyn Blobyn who let us use her house. Thanks Hun! Nice Cheesy Grin here!

Tobi Olliwolly and Joel Swindon, -Two extremely beautiful men.

The Medway Farewell

Last night I went to Robyn's for a final meal with all the guys from the Medway area before a lot of us all left. We had a good laugh, about 16 of us i think, and the meal was great, and we played badminton outside, in the dark actually, so it was really hard, (that's why I lost!) heh. Then we watched Zoolander. Well, what can I say... I mean, i think I'm gonna pause here,as a sign of respect for this great film.....................

Yup, classic. Even though I've seen it, most probably over 50 times, It still makes me crack up, and I appreciate the finer jokes and witicisms inside this coccoon of humour.

And then, after that, we played card games, (well those of us who stayed up) [Dan stop being a wuss and play cards, and Nick, Wake Up!] Anyways, there was this game where only Joel knew the rules, and the idea of the game is to learn the rules as you go along, but in making mistakes, you have to pick up a card as a punishment. It was such a laugh, especially since Pete Verheul got soo many penalties for either talking, or trying to discuss the rules (verbally or non-verbally), as well as James who got countless penalties for 'conduct unbecoming a gentleman'. I'll have to write down all those rules, although, I'm not sure I have them all. So I'll ask Joel and then teach ppl at Capernwray.

Yeah, and after that we played a few mind games, before settling on something a little easier for Robyn to comprehend. Well, it involved making animal noises a lot, but it proved to be the great success of the evening. All I have to say is, 'Mmmooooooose! Wibble Wibble'. I'll dufunutli have to teach people that one.

Anyhow, a few of us stayed up to watch School of Rock, even though it was already like 4am. But thas ok. I didn't think it was that great, but it had moments which I appreciated and knew no-one else did. But hey.

Then, this morning, not much happened, except telling those who went to sleep early, what went on the night before. Oh, and I had a good chat with Laura, who is totally a diamond. It's true. If God could only bless me with a girl like her, although without the whole being really like a sister kinda thing goin on, then I'd be soo happy. But hey, I'm happy as I am, being single, and errm, lonely...

Dan Millest - Life Ambition: To grow hair as long as possible...

Caleb and Nick at Robyn's place... Hold on... Are they Siamese twins???

Not quite a recap...

Yeah, so I haven't posted for a few days. Cos I jus haven't got round to it.

So yeah, Sunday was the most awesome day. Preached in the morning, and that went really well, i think. I'll have to listen to the CD. And then after that, me and Rossikins went up to London on the spur of the moment and went to Hillsong London, which is an awesome church. They have 5 services on Sunday and 2 on Saturday nite. I think. And the worship there was awesome. And the speaker was really good too. Then we came back in time for the evening service which was ok, and then to the pub after. But it was too crowded and so we all went back to mine. Not as good as other parties etc at mine, but still not bad.

Then on Monday, (Bank Holiday Monday), my rents got back in the morning, which was cool, sorta. Then I had to go early with Uncle Wan to see his hotel. Hopefully I'll get a job for a few weeks. Then I met up with loadsa Chequer Tree ppl at Mote Park. We played rounders and went for a walk, and then back to Society Rooms for a pub lunch. Twas cool. Then walked Amy back to hers, and stayed there for a lil bit which was neat. Actually, she's a really neat gal. But hey. So yeah, got lectured by my rents about everything when I got back. Which was ok. Then wathced some movies.

Then Tuesday, yesterday, slept in. I talked to Stef for ages on that new program 'Hello', which is soo cool cos you can send loadsa pictures really quickly. (Hey Stef! I tihnk you're the only one who reads this! so thought I'd say hi, although i did put it on my profile thingy on MSN, so maybe some random ppl might read it too.) So, in the evening Pete came round to watch a movie which was cool. Then today, Robyn just rang, so I'm going over to hers for a last supper kinda thing. Except without Jesus and the disciples. But seriously, its for all of us who are leaving this month and goin our separate ways. should be cool.

Anyways, I'll go now, and hopefully get time to recap on other things.