So last night at football, i reached my breaking point. Since being here at Regents, I have wanted to get out, but even though it's bearable, I feel the lack of friends, and it kills. Especially after last year with all you guys.
I have like a few guys I spend quite a bit of time with and in my mind I kinda deemed them as 'friends', just to make myself seem worth something to others here.
Anyway, at football last night, I fall and sprain my ankle pretty bad, and instantly yell out in pain. The first thing I see is one of the guys I'm closest to smiling.
His smile wasn't a decided reaction but an instinctive reaction which wasn't put on.
I was horrified.
The thing is, that after making the friends I have last year, I know that any small ounce of pain I saw them going through would put me through pain too. I would instantly want to take the pain on myself and not want them to feel any pain at all. My instant instinctive reaction would be concern.
I know it sounds a little over dramaticised, but aside from being put out of sports until January, I came to the realisation that I didn't really have real friends here. And it cut to my core.
I'm a pretty broken guy right now and would appreciate your prayers. Talking to me would also be welcomed.
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